Community and Me.. an answer to a question
Today I was reading a blog post by Lisa Lloyd regarding community (You can find it here ) It’s called, A Reflection of the Tarot Community in the Cards.
In the blog she explores the idea of community and asks the questions…Do you have a sense of community? and What is your role in the community ?
This is a difficult one for me to answer because I have to come to terms with that big ‘F’ word.. ack! You know, that F-e-e-l-ings word. Ugh! Feelings are not easy for me to connect with. Here’s a big thing to admit…. I detach from my feelings and emotions so regularly that I find it difficult to bridge the gap between feelings and logic. But, here goes nothin’.
Do I have a sense of community?
For many years in many areas of my life…. No. I have kept myself isolated, and I have trouble reaching out. Thank you PTSD. I see community as that supportive group hug that surrounds each member in order to help protect and hold to the standard of the group mind working towards a defined (directly or indirectly defined) purpose.
Over the past year.. I have lost that sense of community within tarot, as the purpose became unclear. Was it my purpose or the purpose of the communnity or both? I don’t know. But I do know that I began to run out of synch with the community. This will happen among groups when energy is shifting, and if a role remains undefined or unclear things will change and shift and some energy might even dissipate.
Over the past year I have felt a huge disconnect from the community. Does that mean I hate them? No. Does it mean that I blame anyone? No. It simply means I need to find my place of belonging in the tarot community once again.
I asked my cards what I should know about the feeling I have over the sense of community… The four of Swords. That tells all, doesn’t it ? I needed to take a temporary break from the community for a short period of time while some healing took place, and indeed I did. Energy in my life is changing once again and I’m ready to join hands in the group hug of the tarot community if someone would open up and let me hold hands; I’d love to be a part of the defined purpose of the tarot community… Helping others grow through guidance and supportive metaphysical insight. :)
The next question that Lisa asked was.. what is my role in the community ?
I feel that my role is to help others look at tarot from a different perspective. I also think my role is to be of spiritual assistance to others. I hope it is to be an inspiration on many levels. I belong to other communities in which I advocate and sit on an advisory board and governance board. My hope is to use these skills in the future so it will only be an added benefit to the role I play in the tarot community. 
So, let’s hear it… Do you have a sense of community? and What is your role in the community ?
The Empathetic Man.. aka.. My dream guy
Oh.. come on now. Tell me you don’t love those sweet and sensitive dark handsome, emotionally deep type of men like I do!! There is something about that bad boy turned sensitive that melts our hearts in a good but bad way. He seems to “get” us at every turn. It’s fantastically refreshing to be in the presence of a man that understands exactly what I’m feeling. They have compassion and at the very best, love to share with you their world in order to see life through your eyes.
Okay.. now, before I get lost in Neverneverland, let’s talk about Mr. sweet and sensitive here. Do you know who I am talking about? Sure you do! The lovely King of Cups.
He’s one of those sweet and sensitive types that has.. now pay attention here, this is important.. he has matured so much that he has gained the gift of empathy, and with that comes the ability to have compassion for others. Without his emotional maturity, he is unable to empathize with anyone. Many men, and women alike, can understand how other people’s situations may suck, but it isn’t true compassion or empathy unless they have the ability to FEEL your plight.
This special gift is said to be the cornerstone of human existence. Without it, can the man truly be able to love and appreciate his companion? Without it, man is still living in lower vibrating chakras fulfilling basic needs and animalistic ego stroking behaviors. The King of Cups vibrates the tones of the heart.
The deep convictions and appreciation for all that is created is felt through his heart and expressed in his temperament. This man is unable to intentionally harm anyone through his words or actions, especially anyone he is close to, because he has empathy for others. He wishes but for nothing more than to help his loved ones achieve betterment in life, through his support.
The King of Cups is represented in the water element, which I associated with the season of autumn, because of the level of maturity he needs in order to attain this higher vibrational trait.
Don’t be mistaken girls, this is a special type of man that comes from experiencing life. Many men might look like this on the outside, but inside, they lack the emotional depth needed to truly be.. A King of Cups.
Chanel
I have the perfect love interest for you!
I don’t know about you, but I’m one of these nice girls with a huge heart that loves to give and give and then give some more. I enjoy giving support, love, and encouragement to friends, family, loves, clients, peers, those in need.. and anyone else that would like me to. I’m just that way. I imagine if you are reading this, you are too.
I think it’s important to give, as that is the type of support, love and encouragement that I would like to receive. What can I say, I treat people the way I want to be treated. Isn’t that what we were taught since we were a child?
Seems like a nice sentiment, but over the past year my life did a little wobble. I was surprised to find out how quickly people leave your life when the table is turned and I am the one in need of that same love, support and encouragement.
I can honesty say that I’m grateful for the Universe in showing me THAT lesson! It quickly outs any ‘takers’ that are in your life.
I don’t think I need to tell you how horrible it feels to be faced with rejection at times when you need support the most. Nor do I need to tell you about the resentment that follows when someone thinks they are still entitled to your gift of love and support while giving you dozens of reasons why they cannot return the same .
But very soon, I grew tired of all the resentments, bitterness, pain, anger, pity, etc.that was building up in me. All of those feelings are rooted in lack, which is nothing but wasted energy that is counterproductive to all the creation energy in life.
The reason I bring up this topic is that recently I found myself thinking about various relationships over the whole of my life and how each time I felt rejected I grew a bit of resentment towards my body and a disconnect in my spirit. Whoa! I’m getting really personal right now, but I want to share with you my personal story and what I did to turn this around.
Don’t get me wrong, I really think I’m totally freakin’ awesome, and I’m very fond of my personality. I’ve often said that we should be our own best friend. But I have to admit, that with each little blip from relationships I may get a little sad, depressed, or gain a bit of weight.
As I reflected, I realized that other people do this too. It may come out in different ways, but you see it all around. Some people may drink, have multiple sex partners, shop far beyond their budget, host a pity party with their ‘self’ as the guest of honor , and so on and so forth.
Why towards my body? I had to meditate on this. umhmm.. When people feel unsupported in life by family, friends, society, lovers, etc. They tend to turn back on their body and environment. It’s like going from Chakra 2 to Chakra 1. You’ve got to start building yourself right back up from that point.
This brought me to reflection. I meditated on all the ‘what the hells’ in my life. I know myself and like myself.. but why in the world do I stay stuck in this never-ending place of hiding and struggle?
Finally the answer. I do not 100% love myself. Why not? Because I’ve been so busy focused on relationships with other people and worrying about their needs that I have neglected my own needs. I always thought I was in love with myself.. but what I forgot is that relationships need nurtured. They need to have love and support to flourish in. If I am to be totally honest with myself, then I must realize that I’ve given more to other people than I gave to myself. So the supported love / romance in the relationship between my spirit and my body has faded and then one day I realize, I’ve not been 100% in love with myself. So yesterday I decided to get in a relationship with myself (if you follow me on facebook, you saw that change take place in real time) .
Who says we have to feel a ‘lack’ because someone in the world doesn’t want to be in our world? Ptah! Who says we can’t receive love and support during those hard times? Sure, it would be nice to count on people, but it’s also good to know we can get through hardships on our own.
So what does building a relationship with our ‘self’ really mean? It means aligning our body, mind and spirit in an intimate way. Being aware of our needs and supporting them holistically. Once we have the ability to do that, then we have the ability to have a wonderfully brilliant love in our lives that extends from inside us. When love extends from us, love is penetrating our world in different directions and we’ll view life through different eyes and feel it with a different heart.
So I decided to make a commitment to myself, to fall back in love, by :
Building trust with myself,
Nourishing my body with proper nutrients,
Eliminating toxins of all kinds,
Pamper myself,
Speak to myself honestly,
Take myself out on walks and dates,
Regularly exercise,
Treating my body as a sacred temple,
Communicate lovingly,
Be tender and gentle with myself,
Be MY best cheerleader,
and just doing all actions through the will and intend of self-love and nurturance.
I realize that in order to build a relationship, attention needs to be focused on me in the most balanced and supportive of ways. Once that is achieved, I can move on to chakra 2 and be free to explore and open up to giving support and love to others.
So, here’s to being in a relationship with the *you* in your life ! Will you join me?
………………………………………………………………………….
Oh.. now, how could I leave you without a little bit of tarot integration here?
Draw a card to see what area of your ‘self’ you have been neglecting.
If you pull …………
Cups – emotions have been neglected
Wands – Your personal passions and self identity.
Swords – The functionality of your thoughts, or an idea that you’ve neglected.
Coins – your basic needs : food, health, bills, finances, body, etc.
Spirit – Your spiritual well being needs attention.
Courts – People in your life, your attitude, your approach, etc. needs to be acknowledged.
Majors – Major overhaul in one area of life needs to be attended to.
Reversals – Inner child, inner health, psychological, childhood issues, and deeply buried issues need to be addressed.
Love to know what you come up with and feel free to announce if you are deciding to fall in love with you all over again.
Happy Friday to you!
The Glass is Always Half Full !
One thing I have learned over the years is that it is so easy to think in ‘half-empty’ terms, or as I call it, thinking in lack.
Most of us will have at least one lack thought a day. I would even wager that many of us will have more than 10 lack thoughts in any given day. Without even knowing, the thought will sneak in.
- I need more money = I don’t have enough money.
- I’m hungry = I don’t have enough food.
- I wish I had more clients. = I don’t have enough money.
- I wish he would call = I don’t have enough attention.
The problem with this line is thinking is that when we think we don’t have it, we automatically start focusing on not having it. When we do that, our brains start pulling all the things we think we don’t have as evidence of not having it. (Our brains like to associate and group items of information.) Once we start doing that, it becomes our truth. When that happens all we have is yuckiness in our lives.
[title]So how to you start looking at life half full?[/title]
1. Stop
That’s right! When you notice any sign that you are getting hung up in lacking thinking.. STOP! There’s nothing wrong with noticing a * lack thought * forming. It’s a great signal to you that an issue has been triggered. Sometimes that trigger can be your body saying.. hey, this isn’t the right path for you, or it can be an issue that you need to pay attention to an area that needs rebalanced.
The problem only comes when you get stuck on it and it begins to fester to the point of obsession, or stalled movement. What happens is that it anchors your energy to the issue preventing it from moving. When that happens.. WATCH OUT !
Energy is going to come out any which way it can. That means, depression, anger, anxiety, obsessions, addictions, hate, mental disorders, health problems, financial problems, etc. So do yourself a favor, and just stop before you get hung up on it, and advance to step 2.
2. Acceptance
The wisest piece of advice I ever got from a friend was this…. “If you can’t control it, don’t change it. Only change what you can control. If you can’t change it, then don’t worry about it.” I had to ponder this for a while, but I have come to realize that he was so right!
There are times in life that you just have to accept that it is what it is and there is nothing you could, nor should, do about it. Of course, there are times that you’ll want to, but more often than not, what we feel lack in are things that we can’t change. Once you accept it and look on, then you feel a huge pressure taken off your shoulders. The pity party stops, and the internal fighting ceases.
3. Solutions
I am a believer in solutions ! When you get stuck in lack thinking you can’t move. Simple. You become a victim of circumstance. However, once you identify what issue the ‘lack thinking’ is triggering, you can get out. Identify the problem, then find the solution.
For example, if you feel you want someone to call you more often, get to the bottom of what that issue is for you. If you get to the bottom and realize it is because you are lonely, then by all means, find a solution as to why you are lonely. Do you need to get out more? Do you need a new hobby? Find a solution that you CAN control.
4. Embrace.
Embrace the positive in the situation. Now, I’m not suggesting that you just fake this and mention some wonderful thing you should be grateful for.. blah blah blah. But I promise you that the Universe will balance the positive and negative energies in any given situation. This also doesn’t mean that you stay in an icky situation, either.
Take this example, for instance. My daughter had some cancer tissue removed recently. We identified the problem, found the solution (surgery) and then we embraced it. By embracing it, we educated ourselves on what to look for in order to identify anything questionable in the future. We are making changes to our diet, and we are embracing a healthier lifestyle. None of this says we want anything toxic in our lives, but we have definitely embraced a positive and healthier lifestyle from it. How wonderful is that ? That’s what embracing is all about, the changes that you make in your life BECAUSE of paying attention to what you don’t want to be in your life any more.. aka.. lack thinking.
5. Gratefulness
It was recently pointed out to me that this is an annoying statement. Perhaps it IS over-used, but I don’t think it is any less worthy of being recognized.
It is extremely important that we are grateful for the results of lack thinking. It reinforces to every cell in our energy that we can trust ourselves to take action on any imbalances. This speaks volumes to our own psyche.
Another reason to be grateful is because it is closure. It signals an ending that the issue has been solved and is no longer a worry that will be any concern.
Gratefulness also carries the love of the Universe forward from your energy. With that comes forgiveness, compassion, understanding, and support.
So, whenever you feel that your thinking is in lack, follow the above steps. Here’s a spread I developed to help you visually see through this energy. It’s called, Glass Half Fool Tarot Spread.
Where has Chivalry gone? I’ve got the scoop right here…
Well girls, I’m letting the cat out of the bag.. Lettin’ all the men know what we whisper about on the phone when he didn’t take the garbage out. What we say in disgust as we can see that truck tail-gating us as we are driving well above the speed limit, yet they apparently would like to drive in the trunk of our car. Yes, I’m letting them all know right here and now what we utter under our breath when they let the door slam into us while we are doing all we can to get falling bags of groceries safely out of the rain. Or think in our minds when they run past us or nearly run over us on the crosswalks and all those little things they ‘forget’, like common courtesies that don’t seem to exist in their current animalistic states.
“Are you listening men? Here it is.. here’s what we mutter under our breaths in disgust.. “WHERE HAS CHIVALRY GONE ?!?”. I must admit, even under my own breath I’ve said, ‘ Once they use to lay down a coat so a woman could cross over a puddle, now they’d just as soon run us over on the road”. Yes, I have to admit that I’m not fond of some driving habits I’ve seen.
“But back to the task at hand! That’s right, I want to know what’s up with this lack of chivalry? So, I thought I’d ask Sir William Marshall, the 1st Earl of Pembroke and the Knight’s Knight, to sit for a spell so we could get a good look at chivalry. I want to know what it is, what happened and any advice that can be given for men of today.
“I have to admit that I’m one of those people that long for the days of old, when men were brave, and did all they could for their country. Then, with that manly scent of masculine sweat dripping from their bodies, they would stop to philosophize or sing poetry and ponder the world next to a lonely woman, whom they made feel like the most special and protected woman on the planet. That’s right, I’m stuck in fantasy land! Reminiscent of the four of cups a bit. But hey, it isn’t my fault men of today are falling short of that! Is it?
“As I greet Sir William Marshall, Earl of Pembroke, I can feel that need to shift my energy back into grounded position if I’m to get through this reading without prejudice! So, I take a moment to ground, and ask if he can share his thoughts and advice on Chivalry, where it has gone, and what we can do to bring back that level of respect, bravery, courage and loyalty to the world.
“He speaks with a comforting but strong voice, filled with passion. I can see why he is considered the greatest Knight that ever lived.
tarot spread - sir william chivalry
“Back in the days of my time, we were only but mere boys, but we had a deeper understanding of the power we possessed in our mere hands. Our hearts were filled with a driving force, this realization, that everything we touched would be forever changed by our mark;whether that be battle line or a woman’s heart. We had the power to change and mold everything we touched. Because our mark was made by our hands, which were an extension of our hearts, it became essential that we understand the very power that we possessed. The responsibility of it. It’s as if we didn’t need luck, because we WERE so very valuable. We became untouchable. In that, there was great responsibility to protect, cherish all that we had, and all that we were charged to protect, as every moment was an earned blessing.
“Bravery, ah yes, Bravery. If we were not brave enough to cut out the evil rot that tries to get into your blood, how were we brave enough to be responsible for another life. Bravery isn’t enough. You have to know what to cut out of your life, and what is like a vile fog that creeps into your life unnoticed. It has to be cut out before it infects all that you left your mark on, all that you worked so hard to build.
“As driven as we were, as brave as our heart would beat, it was essential that we follow the laws of our land, the laws of the King, the Laws of God. We were obedient but humbled, all the same. It kept us in our place, and knowing that there was always a higher purpose to serve in God kept us from falsely believing that we were serving ourselves.
“When it came to our women, they were to be celebrated as an extension of ourselves. After all, they were as good as the heart that we gave to them. It was considered a blessing to have trouble in the marriage. During those times, it would be very evident that to heal, we would have to work together to clear out and let go of ills in our life. Your woman was a reflection of your heart, and you were as strong or weak as your marriage. If you cannot create the extension of the golden heart that drives you to purpose in your unions, how could you create a country that God would be proud to live in.
“Today, you don’t see this level of deep purpose or intention. The men of today don’t seem to celebrate community, commitment and purpose. They sit alone waiting for life to come to them. They sit in a cave a thought and misery wanting women to notice them and give them their desires. They aren’t focused at the heart or purpose, they are giving attention to their manly desires. They use women for when it suits them, and pushes them away when they grow tired.
“There is a difference there. Knight that walked with Chivalry cut out the evil and knew they did not deserve or earn praise from the people of the land or the dignity of carrying a wife by their side, if they could not keep the bad element out. Presently, men sit in the womb, hidden away in a cave, inside their own testicles. They want the woman to come to them with gifts while they’ve done nothing to earn it. They want the woman to nurture their desires. Instead of cutting out the ill element, the men cut out the woman and then go to the next. From one seems to birth the next. Their fingers are tucked into their pockets around their waist.They do not hold awareness nor pride regarding the power that exists in the extension of those hands.
“Men of today need to stop talking about what is being done to them and embrace their personal power to overcome hardships and cut out the ill elements in their lives. If a man is not willing to push himself when faced with struggles, then he isn’t worthy of any treasure that is to be had. He is not worthy of the love of a woman, if he cannot move mountains or walk on water for her. A woman is the reflection of his heart, and he should treat her well. A good woman to him, will recognize the gold that lies in his heart, and carry him like a treasure.
“He should see his world in all the possibilities and look at the world as if it is his personal land where he lays seeds from his heart all over. Leaving his mark and legacy for the benefit of all to know what God has blessed him with, is what every man should believe in order to treat his world correctly. I do not mean sexual seeds of legacy but with the purpose of God in his heart. ”
I’m left speechless, but with my fantasies, as I give heart-felt thanks to Sir William Marshall.
Thanks to all of you that have shared in this message,
The Eight of Cups – Knowing When to Walk Away and When not to…
The Eight of Cups has always held a lot of depth for me. It shows elements of struggle and hints at reward, but has ultimately come to mean finding reward despite the struggle. When I pull this card, the very first thought that hits me is …. ‘you’ve just summed up my life’. No joke! That’s exactly the very first thoughts that I have about this card.
Eight of Cups from A King’s Journey Tarot
Immediately following, I am usually reminded that the Fool is now leaving unstable relationships that are not able to support the Fool, so he chooses to leave them behind. It is hard, but he will find much more pleasure for having done so. It’s not an easy task to leave relationships behind, especially those in which you thought would support you. For a time.. some of them might be VERY supportive, but they might only have been strategically placed so that you could safely make your way to the next milestone. Even still, it might be the querent themselves that may be saying.. “ I know you all love me, but I must go this road alone for now.”
Another meaning I have come to understand through this card is that you will know the true nature of the heart, intention and the strength of any relationship through down and struggling times. What do I mean by this? Well, everyone is nice, cordial and even fun to be around when everything is going well. Money is flowing and life is moving along stress-free. But, as soon as you are struggling with anything serious or long-term. Watch who your friends are. Pay attention to your employer. Look at who is consistently there in a full on capacity. Some people may have nice words, but they may begin to grow distant, separating themselves from what you are going through. Still others may have harsh words for you. The saddest thing of all are the people that will actually, not only turn their back on you, but jump on the bandwagon of the ‘other side’.
Scanned Sketch 8 of cups from Simply Deep Tarot by Chanel Bayless
A HUGE challenge that many of my clients (and even myself if I’m to be totally honest), is to know which relationships should be left behind and when? One huge clue — Look at who supports you and keeps you afloat no matter what is going on, your rock. Those are nice to have around. On the other hand, there could be other relationships that are sinking you. They make you feel uncomfortably sick or anxious or are non-productive. That’s your clue that those relationships are only teaching you something you need to learn in yourself and in the moment, and probably not keepers.
One aspect of this card that I absolutely Love! .. is that it shows us that through our trials, perseverance, and dedication to our path.. we WILL hold valuable wisdom in our hands when we reach the end of the journey. The struggles felt under this card are not in vain. We are learning and expanding, as the eights often show us, there is more out there to learn. This is a spiritual journey that allows us to climb new heights. I just love what the eight of cups promises us.
So, the next time you come across the Eight of Cups in a reading, ask yourself who is in your life, and who supports you while you are on a difficult but personal journey. You may have to journey away from people for now, but one day you’ll return. When you do, you’ll know who is going to be there in the end, and who you may WANT to be there embracing you when you reach your final destination.
Now for some fun stuff!
What rather unusual meanings have you gotten for this card?
Here’s some of mine…
- Antique Collection
- Set of stemware as a gift
- Stomach Ache
- Fireworks (Tarot of a New Vision)
- Fourth of July (Tarot of a New Vision)
- Location : Swamp (A King’s Journey)
- Location : In the suburbs of a town (Tarot of a New Vision)
- Location : Mountainous area by a small body of water, river (RWS)
- Pawn Shop
- Shaking someone’s pockets to get what you can from them (Rx – A King’s Journey)
- Sticking your foot in other people’s business (Rx)
Feel free to add some of yours below